twenty-two of eleven: turn of an age

I think some of the most undervalued things in life are friendship and family - they’re so easy to take for granted…

That’s why I want to use my (belated) birthday post to write this for you.

_{Disclaimer: If I write everything my heart means to say here, I will firstly make myself cringe, and secondly make you close the browser (collectively). =P So I’ll try to be succinct.} 

No matter what happens in the future, what we’ve been through in life - why I know you, why you’re more than just another face and name to me - those things don’t change anymore.

So that’s why even if:

(a) you can’t be there for me; or
(b) I can’t be there for you; or 
(c) you never see/talk to me again,

I’ll still count you as a friend.

Because… remember those times we laughed together, struggled through life together?

I do.

Life never happens in the same way again, and you are/were an essential part of mine. So thank you… <3

Thank God you’re in my life. Stay for awhile? =)

^ My presents! 

Michael (ft. Sam & Elisha)’s mushrooms deserve a separate post for the novelty of being Sharpie-coloured REAL mushrooms… anyway here they are!

Red mushroom.

Yellow mushroom.

Green mushroom.

And no, I haven’t forgotten Joel’s present =)

Tiff and Jess - thanks for sleeping over on my birthday weekend… we should catch up/ break more often!! Also, profiteroles are good… thank you~

Everyone at the Covenant Church - thanks for the card… your messages are so sweet. (Thank you, Nam =) Michael, seriously, I nearly looked out the window… but I don’t really need another mark on it!!

Thank you everyone <3

Specially thinking of Shan, Beth, Ruth, Jeni, Candice, Steven, Audrey, Viv, Jenai, Christina, Joey, Ronny, Ad and Vicky… some of whom I haven’t seen for inordinately long time. Michelle, who’s overseas…

If only life happened like one dreamt it would!

But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

[ 1 Cor 13:11-13]

are we there yet?

_{the journey is also the fight to the finish line…}

dear everyone, sorry for the long absence from tumblr-land.

I have no internet at my new place & may not have any for awhile yet - but - I promise you when I do get it, I have a billiontrillion ideas that I’ll post up around the place… and this won’t be a useless blog that you’re following, lol.

I’ve had exams, still have exams to finish and this year, when it’s over, will be such a relief - and a bit of a freefall too, I believe.

Ah well, pull your riding boots on and let’s go. Life can only get better from here, ey?

To infinity and beyond!

you bring peace to the restless

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i’ve been staring at the sky tonight, marvelling at passing time

So around this time last year I was in Tasmania, that island nearly everyone forgets is off the coast of the Australian continent and technically is part of it…

Around now, I was:
1) staying up till crazy hours to finish off designing a booklet for orientation for new uni students
2) sending many long emails to several people
3) planning and praying and wondering what to do about the new year
4) discovering that the process of learning exactly what growing up means… is inevitable
5) the feeling of “but i need” is not always so necessary
6) about to run off to Portland for uni
7) worrying about the final year of a uni degree
8) hoping o-week would go fine
9) suffering from a bad relationship
10) learning it was better to be single (but not necessarily easier) after years

When your head is too far up in the clouds, it’s a humiliating and painful experience to hit the ground so hard. You realise as you grow that life is harder than you thought, that people weary of one another and doing good, that music doesn’t always block out the bad thoughts, that rain on dry ground is not always a good thing (when it floods).

At peril of sounding exactly like an inspirational postcard or book that promotes fluffy optimistic words which don’t always help…I think this pretty much sums up my year since then.

Sometimes you can’t change the circumstances that you find yourself in, but you can change your reaction to it. Sometimes you need to face the fact that you can’t change the past, but you can learn and turn from your old mistakes. And that is sometimes easier said than done… but it is definitely possible.

<sub>“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:12-14</sub>

Wondering what to do with daylight.

change

I have a plate full of food next to me: white rice, some pickled lettuce, and roast lamb.

Now, I have no problems with eating lamb normally. But if you ask me, several days’ worth of lamb for lunch and dinner begins to grate on the gastronomic palate (or rather, overload it with oil).

Sometimes it’s good to have a change.

oh yes happy new year 2011

If there was ever a good reason to forget my manners and wish everyone happy new year, it is this. Not mine, mind you (unlike Ps Vic’s declarations throughout the year)…

I would upload a better photo but I suppose my sister would not appreciate that at all! She likes her privacy.

Dave would have made a better MC at the reception. Still, I got away with just stuttering a lot, being flustered by the loud microphone and its popping noises, and telling the guests to please “sit on the tables”.

My sister was beautifully joyous and I couldn’t be happier for her, literally… 

Fake shark fin soup.

And I miss the extended family being here! (There was a lot of them.)

Passing, passing, everything is passing…

_{Lord you are always here with me; there is no changing, God, with Thee
You are the same, yesterday, and today, and forevermore…}

bittersweet

It is a quiet evening, with half the imported family sitting in front of the tv watching Braveheart. Two of the boys are playing on computers (Bejeweled on Facebook and a soccer game); Mum is ironing clothes for tomorrow; the older men are sitting in the kitchen, probably with tea and coffee. The other adults swore off tea at night days ago when it resulted in frequent trips to the bathroom.

In the back room, there is a worried/excited/nervous girl putting things away in boxes. The adjacent room carries another, asleep on her top bunk.

Nearly all the lights are on, and there are freshly-ironed shirts, suits and dresses hanging in the living room. The doors and windows are open to let out the heat of the day, and welcome the night time coolness; two fans are whirring away next to the mattresses.

It is twenty-six minutes ‘til midnight, the 31st of December, 2010.

Tomorrow it all changes.

cloud shadow passing overhead

And it is in a whisper, a barely-there vibration hanging in the air, that catches my attention for that one still moment.

When I am alone, it is nearly always in quiet that we meet face-to-face, and rarely a raucous blast of energy; soft and gentle is your voice.

Life seems to be like the ocean tide these few days: an ebb and flow of sounds, people and thoughts thrown as words and actions and conversations, in multiple languages.

Yesterday, described in a single sense, was the smell of charcoal-cooked beef, and followed by laughter and loud ‘debates’ until the wee hours of the morning. We fell away, drifted to our sleeping places instead of greeting the sun, with some avowing that breakfast at that time meant there was no need to wake early later in the day.

Today would be the sound of an old man caterwauling Chinese over a large karaoke machine, and ensuing boredom for the various thirty or more others occupying space in the same house. We fled in a black car down the quiet dark streets of Melbourne, the streetlights urging us home.

Last week would be the sun-drenched beach with dramatic wind and happy companionship, coupled with solitary internal confinement of self.

Sometimes it’s a wonder that you speak to me at all, for I certainly don’t deserve it, and I can’t explain it. The blessings so often outweigh the challenges and obstacles; why can’t I see that better when I’m going through it?

Whatever the reason, the savouring of momentary joys and pleasures make the discipline, the self-control, the humiliating reception of your grace and love more beautiful than ever.

Thank you for the reason, thank you for this season; be with me for this coming time, and lead me in your ways everlasting.

It’s your love that comforts me
It’s your love that gives me life
It’s your blood that took my place
In redeeming sacrifice

It washes me whiter than the snow…

honours… and registered

Guess I ought to start recording my hours?